Pre-Teen Nightmares

Why aren't music videos freakishly surreal insanity-vignettes anymore? This video used to give me nightmares. Watch this video and imagine being 11-years-old at home alone on a Friday night around midnight:



Watching that video was what I thought it was like to do acid.

Another video that added to my early psychosis was this li'l gem. Unfortunately, embedding is disabled, so you have to click the link. I know how we all hate such grueling physical labor, but it's worth it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs1_NQrgZ8w

I Think I Speak For All of Us on This One...

http://drums-percussion.musiciansfriend.com/product/Pearl-Anarchy-Cowbell?sku=446795

How To Rekindle Your Love of Life:

Step One: Homemade breakfast burrito.

Quality Control

Cliffoda Quality Control Department issues internal statement regarding being at a bar on a work night:

Here's a bizarre recent IM exchange with Earthlink customer support. One day I found that I couldn't log on to my email account because my password had been changed. No one from Earthlink had notified me that they were changing my password for me. Apparently, I was supposed to receive a confirmation email of my new password... being sent to the email address to which I couldn't log in "informing to there" customer of this change.

Let's see how my new pal, Sergio H of Earthlink explains the matter:

Sergio H: Thank you for the account verification information. I was able to verify your account.
Sergio H: If I view the password in our database, you will receive an email stating that an EarthLink representative has viewed your password. Do I have the permission to view your password?
cliffoda: yes
Sergio H: The password for the email address cliffoda at earthlink.net is *****
cliffoda: huh?
cliffoda: is this a new password generated by you?
Sergio H: The password was changed by our abuse department automatically in order to protect your account from spammers.
Sergio H: EarthLink will not change the password without informing to there customers.
cliffoda: no one informed me of that
Sergio H: It was changed automatically by our abuse department.
Sergio H: So that you will not face the issue in future with spammers.
cliffoda: those two sentences make no sense
cliffoda: EarthLink will not change the password without informing to there customers.
cliffoda: It was changed automatically by our abuse department.
cliffoda: ???
Sergio H: Yes.
cliffoda: why didn't the abuse department notify me?
Sergio H: That is correct.
Sergio H: As the password is changed you will receive confirmation email from abuse department.
cliffoda: oh really? And when would I receive that email... not to mention HOW would I receive it if I can't log into my account?
Sergio H: As the password is changed now, you will receive the confirmation email within 12 to 24 hours.
cliffoda: you're not answering my question
Sergio H: Now you can login to your email account as you have the correct password.
cliffoda: so, the password that I've used for nearly 10 years was changed for me, without notifying me whatsoever. I am supposed to contact Earthlink support in order to find out that you changed my password for me?
Sergio H: As the password is changed you will receive the error message regarding password incorrect.
Sergio H: You can also check the password by login to My Account page.
cliffoda: ahem... LOGIN
cliffoda: how would I check the password IF I COULDN"T LOG IN?!?
Sergio H: Yes.
Sergio H: I am sorry for the confusion.
cliffoda: why was I not allowed to change my own password to protect me from spammers?
Sergio H: I am sorry as EarthLink donot change the password manually, it was done by abuse department, and once you receive the confirmation email from abuse department, they will specify all the reason how and when exactly they have to change the password.
cliffoda: Funny. What if I hadn't contacted the support center to find this out? This "confirmation email" would've gone to the account to which I couldn't log in. This is like the phone company turning off my phone and telling me that I'll get a confirmation phone call in 24 hours letting me know that it's turned off.
Sergio H: I apologize for the inconvenience this may have caused you.
Sergio H: Let me know if you have any further queries for me to be resolved.
cliffoda: nope.
cliffoda: it's been a blast Sergio.

Image Search

Sometimes, some of the most seemingly prosaic and banal things can offer some of the most entertaining distractions. Case in point, the Google Image Search. Try whatever random words or phrases that come to mind, try your own name (make sure you have "safe search" turned off) -- most of the time, the results can be truly magnificent. Here are a few of my favorites:

Money

Cookie+Monster

McDonalds

Teeth

Cocaine

Nuns

Bruise

Swastika

Ronald McDonald

My Weekend Beat Up Your Weekend.

The scene of the crime.

The murder weapons.

Preparing to do battle with Palm Springs Costco.

Meet meat.

Photographers' showdown.

Hog Leg.

Nicole vs. Salmon.

Soaking into the abyss.

J. and Julia vs. Birthday cake.

J. and Mike, following Melanie's lead, attempt to slip into other dimension.

The landmark case of Busch vs. Burger Bun, 2009.

Sweet respite.

Reaped From the Headlines!

It's time for another round of "Ripped From the Headlines" -- actual news headlines, you know, about newsy things.


God 'will not give happy ending'


Fun doesn't have to stop for bad economy
Uh-uh, the bad economy is having all the fun it can get! (Apparently, others thought this headline read poorly and CNN since changed the headline on the story archive page.)

Charles Manson spends most of his time alone
He also spend 100% of his time in prison.

Eye of God pictured in space
I guess that pretty much answers some eternal questions.

American taste for soft toilet roll 'worse than driving Hummers'
This one's gone... damn.

Octopus pulls plug, floods aquarium